Sometimes satire has a hard time keeping up with reality. As often happens, this piece from the Onion is uncomfortably on-target.
(And, by the way, this war matters to Afghans, too. Most Americans can ignore it—or, if they can't ignore it, can decide we should just walk away from it. Afghans don't have that luxury.)
—Jeff Weintraub
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The Onion
November 13, 2012 | (Issue 48•46)
Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal
WASHINGTON—As they scoured the Internet for more juicy details about
former CIA director David Petraeus’ affair with biographer Paula
Broadwell, Americans were reportedly horrified today upon learning that a
protracted, bloody war involving U.S. forces is currently raging in the nation of Afghanistan.
“Oh my God, this is terrible,” Allie Lipscomb, 29, said after
accidentally stumbling on an article about the war while she tried to
ascertain details about what specific sexual acts Petraeus and Broadwell
might have engaged in. “According to this, 2,000 American troops have
died, 18,000 have been wounded, and more than 20,000 civilians have been
killed. Jesus Christ. And it’s been happening for, like, 11 years.”
Sources confirmed that after reading a few paragraphs about the brutal
war, the nation quickly became distracted by a headline about Elmo
puppeteer Kevin Clash’s alleged sexual abuse of a 16-year-old boy.